Monday, March 10, 2014

sea creature.

            Sea creature.
I stood on the sand dunes, the wind blowing in my face, as I looked around the little beach.What a perfect day for swimming! I was about to race onto the beach with my surfboard  when something caught my eye. Something was moving on a rock near the waters edge! I decided to take a closer look despite the sickly feeling in my stomach. I crouched low to avoid being seen and started to move forward. I moved like a ninja through the long tufts of grass, passing behind sand castles and hiding behind rocks. Finally I reached my destination. I rose to my knees and peeked over the top of the grass that I was behind and almost fainted. The creature in front of me was absolutely HIDEOUS!!!!!!!

It’s huge mouth was filled with rows of dirty brown teeth. 2 Giant sharp fangs jutted out from the top of it’s jaw.Just imagine mealtimes with it.! A big fin on it’s back looked like a bone sticking out. Two smaller fins were attached to the sides of it’s scaly skin. It’s short stubby tail kicked back and forth slowly. His sunken in eyes bored right into me as if he was trying to read my mind. And that pong!!! If I wasn't so frightened I would of run away yelling!

I wondered if it was strong.  Well those teeth must be able to rip a hole in metal! It must have trouble swimming with such small fins. It wriggled a bit. I wondered if it would lunge at me.  I tried to look away but I couldn't. It was using some sort of hypnotic force on me.

I wished it would go back to where it came from. Suddenly, like it was reading my mind, it did. It took one more glare at me and then slipped off the rock into the crashing waves. I was glad it was gone. I decided it was to cold to go swimming today but it was really because I couldn't risk getting my leg chomped off by that creature! I climbed back up the sand dunes and started toward the car, but before  I did I took one last look at the ocean. And I’m pretty sure I saw a giant jaw with rotten teeth raise up from the water. sabre tooth boar fish.jpg

11 comments:

  1. Loved your story Malena - I don't feel like swimming at the beach ever again!! Mum

    ReplyDelete
  2. Very cool Malena the sea creature is awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  3. A fantastic piece of writing. You have a great imagination and have created a very realistic story. Your ending was very powerful because it made you think the creature was watching you. Well done

    ReplyDelete
  4. What a freaky creature and what wonderful narrative writing, Malena! I could visualise everything that was happening and connect to the narrator's feelings. I especially loved the final paragraph, when the creature 'read your mind' and slipped back into the crashing waves.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Adventurous story Malena - Auntie J

    ReplyDelete
  6. What a weird creature that is!
    Keep up the great work

    ReplyDelete
  7. wow Malena I loved the way you described the sea monster. It put a picture in my head.

    ReplyDelete
  8. WOW Malena what is that hideous sea monster that is.

    ReplyDelete
  9. AMAZING piece of writing Malena !!! I could picture every single part of that story. The funny part of it was when you said " I rose to my knees and peeked over the top of the grass that I was behind and almost fainted. The creature in front of me was absolutely HIDEOUS!!!!!!! " and also when it said that " And that pong!!! If I wasn't so frightened I would of run away yelling!"
    From Sasha

    ReplyDelete
  10. that's a great interesting story malena well done

    ReplyDelete
  11. That is so cool Malena I love it

    ReplyDelete