Friday, February 27, 2015

The story of Moon!

                 The story of Moon.
part 1.

It was just a normal day at the beach for Jesse Norton. Swimming, sunbathing, sandcastle making with her baby sister. In the sweltering afternoon heat, Jesse felt as though she was melting.
“I’m just going for another swim, mum!” she called to her mother, who was trying to have a snooze but not succeeding, as her baby sister, Sophie was trying to climb all over the rug.
“OK.” came the muffled voice of her mother.

Jesse ran down the beach towards the glistening water. As she splashed into the sea, the cool waves lapped at her feet.Some  familiar Orange-brown locks swung in the distance. It was her best friend Lily Hatton!
“Lily!” Jesse yelled. The head turned and Jesse found herself looking into a pair of brown eyes.
“Hi, girl! I didn’t expect you to be  down here!” Lily exclaimed, surprised. “Have you got your board? Let’s go!”

The 2 girls had a great time in the sea, catching quite a few waves.
“Hey, watch this!” Jesse yelled at her friend, who was in the shallow waters, getting off her board. A huge wave was coming towards Jesse and she got ready to catch it. Suddenly she felt a pull behind her. The tide was too strong! She dug her feet into the sand, but it was too late. Her last word was “Help!” before the massive wave crashed over her, and she was swept back. Just as she was about to fill her lungs with water she bobbed up on the surface and found herself spinning around wildly. “I’m in a whirlpool” she realized. She thrashed about to try and free herself from the strong folds of water that were enveloping her. Please don’t let me die she thought as she was sucked down into the black hole beneath her feet.
To be continued...

Coming soon! The story of Moon part 2.


  1. What an awesome and interesting story Malena I can not wait for part 2.

    1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    2. Part 2 is on my blog

  2. I can't wait for part 2! What amazing storytelling, Malena. You really set the scene and build the suspense.

    The cliffhanger at the end leaves this reader anxious to read the next episode!

  3. Wow Melena. What an awesome story writer you are. I love the story and I want to read more. I cant wait for Part Two.


  4. Malena, your detail allowed me to create some fantastic visuals in my head. I loved it! Wish I could write like that, do you offer lessons? Waiting anxiously for Part 2.........

  5. Malena I am extremely impressed with the descriptive words you have used throughout your story to create such visual settings and actions. i was totally captivated in your story. Top effort

  6. Wow i am amazed and a little scared i also can not wait for part 2

  7. Awesome beginning to the story Malena. I am looking forward to reading the rest of it soon! Mum

  8. I love the way you hook the reader in Malena and keep the reader hooked by your choice of words and then leaving us wanting to read more.....Great strategy!

  9. Wow! Malena you grabbed my attention from the start. I loved your use of vocabulary and am left on tender hooks waiting for Part 2 - what Superhero writing!

  10. Wow Malena that is an awesome story you have there